do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
