Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
