her vagine was all disorganized.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
