i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
