So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
