Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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