big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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