I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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