OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
