I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
