i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
