I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
