I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
