I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
