Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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