Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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