Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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