just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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