does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
