the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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