But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
