i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
