her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
