so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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