Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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