We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
