I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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