my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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