summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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