Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
