She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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