He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
a search helicopter?!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
