so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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