hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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