things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
