Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
