And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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