It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
