Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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