Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
