Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
