forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
