I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
