remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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