I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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