He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
