Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
