It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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