Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
