good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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