First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Thank you for not boning my boss.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
