fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
