You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
