ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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