well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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