google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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