He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
