I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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